Monday I ended the day with a sense of troubled peace. Maybe a better way of putting it is peace in the midst of a troubled heart and mind. A conversation at work did NOT go the way I expected it to at all. It started with me telling a coworker about the events that transpired at church on Sunday morning and in the evening, and ended with me being shocked, hurt in a way, and reeling from the severity of the response.
Sunday was a CRAZY day for me. God gave me a word for a guy during church, which was both awkward and awesome!! After I gave the word, I felt such freedom in the worship. It was crazy! I really felt that for one of the few times in my life I was able to open up fully in the midst of corporate worship and praise the Lord…well, freely. A lady on the worship team spotted me in the back, and felt like she was suppose to come back and pray with me. So she did! (Kinda obvious I guess, or I wouldn’t be writing about it. HA!) The crazy thing about that, was that I was as far back in the building as I could physically be, and the lady, being in the band, was at the very opposite end, yet she still saw me. Blows my mind a bit. Definitely a God thing.
Later that evening, I attended the gather where a guy from (Scotland/Ireland…not sure) spoke about prophecy, what the Bible says about it, how it should be done, the checks and balances, etc. The Lord gave some words of knowledge during the service, namely about sickness and pains people were experiencing. Then we gathered around those people, and prayed for healing. The guy I (and another man) prayed for had some shoulder pain, and he said it was healed! YAY!
I was telling my coworker about all this Monday at work. Having had conversations about God, and knowing a bit of where he stands in his beliefs, I expected some skepticism from him. To have a pat on the back of sorts and a “If you believe that, that’s nice.” But he ended up getting about as worked up and I would say almost angry over it as I’ve ever seen him. Definitely NOT the response I was expecting. To paraphrase his response, “It’s just a magic show. I can’t believe you’d ever buy into that. They just want you to get tied into to what they are doing. They’ll be wanting your money soon. If they have such great healing power, why don’t they heal everyone’s cancer, or heal starving people? I can’t believe that a loving God would heal a shoulder, but not cancer. God doesn’t do that.”
Needless to say, I sat dumbfounded, in shock, and not really sure what to say, what to think, or anything!! I definitely hit a nerve. And where theres a nerve, theres almost always experiences that formed that nerve over time. He told me some things I won’t share here that put perhaps a bit of the puzzle together for me. But that still didn’t lessen the blow. What hurt the most was his perception of the events and of me. He had the idea that I suppose most people, including myself up until recently, have about ‘healing’. They picture a gathering where everyone is whipped into a frenzy by a celebrity preacher personality. The celebrity is walking around slapping people on the forehead, yelling ‘be healed’! And the majority of such “ministries” are VERY shady in my opinion. I felt like he was lumping me, my faith, my experiences, the gathering I went to at Antioch, the speaker, and the church of Antioch itself in the bowl with those questionable people. That HURT!! Such things are NOT me, NOT my faith, and NOT my church.
I’m still a bit bewildered sitting here even now. I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t like that AT ALL! The speaker wasn’t claiming to be a healer, no one was in an emotional frenzy, there was NO forehead slapping, no yelling. And none of the flags I look for in shady ministries were raised. Those being that the ‘ministry’ is focused on one person, that the power of healing is from one person, or that such things are only found in that place, with that church. He can disagree with me on the belief of God healing, I’m totally ok with that. But don’t group me in with those questionable ‘ministries’ and individuals, cause again, that’s not me, that’s not my faith, and that’s not my church.
Its sad to think about how such things have been used to prey upon people in the past. Things that God desires to be for good have been taken out of biblical context, belittled and perverted to a point, that when the genuine real deal happens, it’s hard for any of us, including me, to accept or believe without serious reservations. I’ll be the first to admit…even typing this makes it feel a bit crazy and the cautious skeptic within me stops and says “wait a minute”. Could the guy that I prayed over been lying when he said his shoulder felt better? Sure! It definitely crossed my mind. I’ll never know for sure whether it really was or wasn’t. But what I DO know without a doubt in my mind, is that God CAN heal and DOES heal!! And that many times He desires to honor us by working through us. So if the guy said he was healed, who am I to say he absolutely wasn’t? If God can save me from my sin, and redeem me from that thing over which I have no power on my own, how much more able is He to physically heal?
How did it end? I later apologized for hitting a nerve, and tried to assure him again that the happenings of the gathering were not like his ideas of the situation. Did it do any good? I don’t know. I won’t apologize for my beliefs and the exercise of them, but I think that sensitivity in this area is definitely needed in the future. I feel that he lost some respect for my faith and beliefs. I pray not, but only time will tell how big of an issue this really is to him. I do feel God’s peace about this situation, I feel I need to hold my friend in prayer. God knows whats going on. Ultimately, I know all I need to worry about is being faithful to go where the Father leads, not how people respond. Lord give me strength.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Spotlight
For quite some time now, I’ve questioning the way we do things as a church in the area of music. All facets, from worship teams and worship leaders to Christian recording artists. Is it just me, or does everything these days seem like a performance? Even our Sunday morning worship times? Everything it seems, from the lighting setup to the clothes that are worn. We say with our mouths that’s its not about us, that its about God, so why are there so many spot lights on us?
My friend Joel Alejandre and myself had a discussion concerning this topic at the acquire the fire gathering in Tulsa last winter. One thing we noted was that we found it interesting that we tell kids to be in the world but not of the world, yet looking up front to all the bands and speakers…whats the image conveyed? We found it very interesting that 9 out of 10 christian bands all look the same. Whats up with that? While I will allow that for some in those bands, the way they are dressed is really the expression of who they are. But I have trouble believing that every one of them is like that. I can’t help but feel that at some point some caved in order to “look” the part.
What about worship teams and worship leaders? I was watching a video on youtube earlier tonight of a powerful and anointed worship song being performed at one of the largest churches in the country. While the song was VERY well done and I continue to listen to it even now while writing this. But watching the video of the whole show going on around the band and singers saddened me. The spot lights were on the team, the lights were off in the audience. All the band members looked the part. They all looked flashy and trendy with their hair styled just right. Is this really pointing people to the Father in the midst of worship? The spotlights are on the team….but where is the spotlight to God?
One of the most powerful and effect mass worship times I have personally attended, and has stuck in my mind, was the overflow service in Stillwater. What I LOVE about this service, is that there are no spotlights on the worship leaders or the band. It’s dark. The room is lit by candles around the outside, and by the large projector screen up front. For me, this made the words on the screen pop out so much more. I felt drawn into what they were saying. I wasn’t distracted by a person in the spotlight…I was fully taken up and whirled about in the presence of God. It was just God and me. It was totally not about the band or any of the people up front. I loved it. It was all about God.
That being said, I believe that there are times and places for people to be highlighted, and that it’s totally ok to have spotlights, fog, trendy looks, etc in the midst of a worship set. One thing I’ve heard about this kind of worship set is that many times people with bad experiences enjoy attending such places because it feels less like church. I believe that God calls different places to different styles of doing things in accordance with His will and what He’s doing. We are the body after all, with different gifts, different styles, and well….differences!! It’s so beautiful and amazing!!! But I still can’t shake that feeling that God is calling more leaders, teams, and bands into anonymous shrouded leading. I don’t think it would just be one place. So why aren’t their more??
I don’t have the answers. I don’t have all the questions. I’ll be the first to admit that this entry certainly isn’t one of answers. It’s simply questions. But I think it’s questions that need to be asked, even though I'm not sure we will like many of the answers we get.
My friend Joel Alejandre and myself had a discussion concerning this topic at the acquire the fire gathering in Tulsa last winter. One thing we noted was that we found it interesting that we tell kids to be in the world but not of the world, yet looking up front to all the bands and speakers…whats the image conveyed? We found it very interesting that 9 out of 10 christian bands all look the same. Whats up with that? While I will allow that for some in those bands, the way they are dressed is really the expression of who they are. But I have trouble believing that every one of them is like that. I can’t help but feel that at some point some caved in order to “look” the part.
What about worship teams and worship leaders? I was watching a video on youtube earlier tonight of a powerful and anointed worship song being performed at one of the largest churches in the country. While the song was VERY well done and I continue to listen to it even now while writing this. But watching the video of the whole show going on around the band and singers saddened me. The spot lights were on the team, the lights were off in the audience. All the band members looked the part. They all looked flashy and trendy with their hair styled just right. Is this really pointing people to the Father in the midst of worship? The spotlights are on the team….but where is the spotlight to God?
One of the most powerful and effect mass worship times I have personally attended, and has stuck in my mind, was the overflow service in Stillwater. What I LOVE about this service, is that there are no spotlights on the worship leaders or the band. It’s dark. The room is lit by candles around the outside, and by the large projector screen up front. For me, this made the words on the screen pop out so much more. I felt drawn into what they were saying. I wasn’t distracted by a person in the spotlight…I was fully taken up and whirled about in the presence of God. It was just God and me. It was totally not about the band or any of the people up front. I loved it. It was all about God.
That being said, I believe that there are times and places for people to be highlighted, and that it’s totally ok to have spotlights, fog, trendy looks, etc in the midst of a worship set. One thing I’ve heard about this kind of worship set is that many times people with bad experiences enjoy attending such places because it feels less like church. I believe that God calls different places to different styles of doing things in accordance with His will and what He’s doing. We are the body after all, with different gifts, different styles, and well….differences!! It’s so beautiful and amazing!!! But I still can’t shake that feeling that God is calling more leaders, teams, and bands into anonymous shrouded leading. I don’t think it would just be one place. So why aren’t their more??
I don’t have the answers. I don’t have all the questions. I’ll be the first to admit that this entry certainly isn’t one of answers. It’s simply questions. But I think it’s questions that need to be asked, even though I'm not sure we will like many of the answers we get.
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